War
by nineteennintytwo
Summary: Roxanne finds a surprise waiting for her when she arrives home from work... Short and silly. Rated 'T' for suggestive themes.


So this is a response to a post on LiveJournal. This is probably a bit rushed and not my best work, but it came to me so fast I had no choice but to write it down! I hope you all like it!

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War

The gun was just laying there on the Lair's kitchen counter when Roxanne arrived home from work. She didn't know how it got there, and she didn't know _why_ it was there. It was just...there. The reporter strode over to take a closer look once she dumped her keys on the side; it looked similar to the De-Gun, only it was filled with harmless sucker darts which she sometimes saw kids playing with. She picked it up with interest, and it was then she saw a note underneath.

_Welcome home from work! _

_Two things: _

_One – This gun and ammo is yours. _

_Two – I have one too, and you're under attack as of NOW!_

Ironically enough, just as she read the word 'now', a sucker dart flew past her face, missing by inches. Her blue eyes darted upwards and immediately noticed her boyfriend, half hiding behind the corner with a matching gun in his hand.

"Darn! Missed!"

He held up his gun for another shot. Roxanne was on it within seconds; she snatched up her own gun and ducked, just as another dart flew over her head. Megamind's annoyed growl was heard and she made a break for it.

"You can run, Miss Ritchi, but you can't hide!" her blue boyfriend called after her, retrieving the two darts he'd already shot at her.

Roxanne smirked widely as she took cover behind one of the alien's many inventions. She didn't know what had possessed Megamind to do this, but she liked it. Despite being a grown woman she often loved just acting like a kid again; something she'd been able to do more often with her child-like boyfriend.

"Before we begin, what are the states?" she called out.

"Well," he began, and she could hear the smug and cocky tone in his voice, "if _I_ win – which I _will_ – I take control tonight. That means you'll be reacquainted with the ropes again, Miss Ritchi."

She rolled her eyes.

"And," he continued, "you have to _admit_ in front of the _whole city_, live on air, that you were attracted to me when I kidnapped you!"

Her jaw dropped. She knew admitting that to him would come back and bite her in the butt!

"But, if _I_ win," Roxanne stated, regaining herself, "I get to tie _you_ up, and _I'll_ be in control tonight. Then, _you'll_ have to admit in front of the whole city that _you_ couldn't hurt me because _you_ had a major crush on me!"

It was Megamind's turn for his jaw to drop. That would ruin the little villainous reputation he had left! Embarrassing! It was bad enough during kidnappings when he would try _not_ to sweat whenever she wore those dresses which clung to her body!

But, he wasn't one to back away from a fight, and neither was she.

"You're on."

"Rules?"

"The person with the most hits by the time we both run out of ammo wins," the former villain announced. "But if you're caught and pinned for ten seconds, then you have to forfeit."

"Let the game begin."

At that exact moment she side-stepped, avoiding her boyfriend who had been sneaking up behind her and had pounced. He ended up banging headlong into the invention she'd been hiding behind.

"OW! My giant blue head!" he cried out.

He turned to open fire in her direction, but as he did, a sucker dart hit him directly in the middle of his large forehead. His eyes crossed as he stared at it.

"Direct hit!" he heard his girlfriend cheer in the distance.

With a snarl he tore the dart away and threw it to the ground, scrambling to his feet with his gun at the ready. But there was no sign of the reporter. Cautiously he crept forwards, gun held out in front of him. He heard a footstep, so did a sudden drop and roll, before jumping back to his feet again with his back against the wall. He peered around the corner.

There she was, slowly creeping forwards a good distance away. Too far in order for him to jump her, but close enough so she was in firing range. And that was exactly what he did. The sucker dart hit the back of her hand and she cried out in shock.

"Bullseye!"

She spotted Megamind a second later and leapt out the way, the second shot missing by mere inches.

"Hold still!" Megamind complained.

He fired again but it missed by miles, hitting one of the Brainbots on its dome; the bot drew back in shock and quickly hid. Megamind growled with frustration and ran after her, turning the corner...

Only to be hit three times in the chest with sucker darts. All in a row down the blue lightning bolt on his leather suit.

"Three in a row!" Roxanne laughed, taking off round the corner.

Megamind growled once more and tore them off, throwing them to the ground. He didn't like this game any more. But a smile crept across his face when he realized she'd used up all of her ammo. He had one left. Maybe there was a chance, after all.

Taking note of where she'd disappeared he hurried round the other way; after all, he knew the Lair better than she did, so knew how to corner her off. And it worked. He laid in wait as he heard her footsteps approaching, then like he had done all those months ago, he leapt at her. But instead of trying to grab the gun, like when she had broken in, he grabbed _her_ and tackled her to the ground.

"Ha ha! You're at my mercy now, Miss Ritchi!" he cackled. "Ten...nine...eight...seven- OW!"

He leapt back off her when she suddenly bit his nose. The nerve of her! That hurt!

"That's foul play, Miss Ritchi!"

"Well, _you_ were the one who crept up behind me when we were stating the rules and the winnings!" she shot back from another part of the Lair. "It's only fair; now we're even!"

He snarled and took off after her again. But he barely rounded the corner when _she_ tackled _him_. The disadvantage here was that she tackled him from behind. Meaning he could do nothing.

"Ten...nine...eight...seven..."

Megamind struggled, yelling all the things he'd do to her if she didn't get off, but she ignored his rant as she continued to hold him.

"...five...four...three...two...one... You're out!"

Of course, Megamind being Megamind, couldn't take it.

"Not fair!" he complained, acting like a six-year-old. "I _demand_ a rematch!"

"Ah-ah-ah!" Roxanne informed him, climbing off him and getting to her feet; she waved a finger at him. "We didn't agree on a rematch. So stop being such a sore loser. You've lost plenty of times before."

The former villain folded his arms across himself and turned away, pouting.

"So, shall we schedule for you to make the announcement tomorrow?" she continued with a smirk on her face. "Oh, and don't bother putting on those cute PJs of yours. I intend to take my winnings _slowly and painfully_."

Megamind's eyes widened with horror.

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If anyone wants to write a follow up - what happens next - then feel free ;D


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